Teo heng

Teo heng yesterday with hk & hy, helped them buy dinner and went in to the room first. It's not fun to sing alone so I played games and listened to music while waiting for them. Their memory of song titles is really bad, 情歌 can become 礼物, 出卖 can become 背叛. It's a test of my memory when they just sing a verse of the song or describe the scenario in the MV and I need to recall the song title. I always call myself 点歌机 cause I know how to sing most of the songs they choose. So far I think that hy 跟我最有默契, she's the only one who knows how to sing lara's part in 珊瑚海, the only one who can finish the whole song perfectly in my opinion. I've always thought that she's very good in singing. I remember that she always bully me when we were young cause she will ask me to sing the guy's part in a duet. I highly suspect it's because of this, that's why I couldn't reach high notes now haha. If it's jay chou's songs, I'll volunteer for his part without complaining. Played the k 歌打榜 where they will rate your singing, don't dare to do a solo in front of 2 professionals, better don't embarrass myself. Hk's voice sounds so much like teresa teng. Since hk live so near to us now, we can just ask her to join us for singing when we are free.

Just to clarify, I'm still alive and didn't disappear off to somewhere. It's true that I rarely update using social media, I think this is the only one that's still active. I'm just plain lazy, I may have the pictures but lazy to upload. Sometimes it's even a miracle that I make the effort to snap some pictures haha. It's good that I'm lazy cause I won't be so reliant on social media. Life is meant to be experienced by seeing, hearing and feeling the things around you, not experienced by taking pictures. All the pictures are inside my memory. It's better to have some privacy than to expose everything out under the sun. Okay, I admit that's just my excuse of being lazy. Anyway don't need to worry, I'm still here, I still exist :D

I think I'm going to start working part-time while searching for a full-time job.

steamboat/night festival

Shopping with min and bel at bugis last week, first time buying something when out shopping with them. It's steamboat time again, it's the first time we ate steamboat together. Most of the time when we want to eat it, min would have eaten it too many times previously till she's sick and tired of it. It's also the first time bel tried the steamboat along the street in bugis.

Had slight fever few days ago, threw up everything I had for dinner and even had diarrhea. Felt warm and cold at the same time, started drinking lots of water and put cold towel over my forehead. Woke up a few times at night to dip the towel with cold water again when I felt too hot, kept my water bottle beside my bed too. Right after I recovered from my fever, I went out to meet ei8ht for singapore night festival. Had thai dinner, don't dare to eat too much in case I feel unwell again. Can't believe I actually rejected eating rice when I was offered more. Wouldn't mind going back there again for thai food. Sat at the place for a while cause it's raining. The night festival didn't have anything much, nothing really spectacular, we just walked around, watched some performances and took pictures. We rejected anything that involves queueing up. I think I expected something more, something that will amaze me to the point that I can't bear to tear my eyes away from. Walked quite a distance from dhoby ghaut to bugis, luckily yl's sister came and drove us back. Felt a little hungry and went to have bak chor mee supper with yl near our house.

也许还需要那么一点时间才有办法面对你，也许一切都会变。一切都需要时间去化解。

SP

Back to sp for lunch, reminiscing those days when I'd wait for the others at dover bridge, when we sat at those benches discussing projects, having lecture in lecture theatre, walking from one end of business school to the other end at T1 just for gems lessons, bringing laptops to school, having different kinds of food at different foodcourts etc. I miss those days. Love buying from the muslim store cause the food is delicious and damn cheap. I like majority of the food from fc6, last time eat until don't know what to eat, now I think that it's the best fc in sp haha. Tried taking picture of sp logo with us inside, doesn't matter if the picture can't see our faces, what's important is the logo :) Walked around jem, again it's the first time this mountain tortoise stepped foot inside. Got tired and find a place to sit and chit-chat, got to know quite a lot of juicy stuff haha. Caught the movie "Dawn of the planet of the apes', I'd recommend you to watch this, it's good. Apes are highly intelligent creatures and capable of emotions, I'd suggest you watched the first one 'Rise of the planet of the apes' before this if not you may not understand some parts.

Maybe I'm just the kind of person you think I am, that's what you've always thought. Does being unemployed mean I'm not looking for job? Does it mean I don't want to find? Does it mean I don't know how to think and only know how to spend? Do you know what I'm thinking everyday or what I did?

过去就让它过去吧，已经不重要了又何必死命的追根究底呢？有些事情就不要拆穿，自己心里有数就可以了。当然不会介意过去式，谁没有过去？只是不喜欢被欺骗罢了。明知又何必屡次提问？感觉得出谁对你很重要，希望我还会在乎，虽然有些人不需要我去在乎。

Catching up

Grandfather passed away, attended his wake for 3 days. I thought I wouldn't shed a single tear since I'm not close to him. However, on the last day, I cried uncontrollably, without stopping. Couldn't control it and I don't know why either, 还越哭越惨。When I'm crying, please don't talk to me, it will make me cry even more as I attempt to speak. Don't even ask me what I'm doing when I'm sad, it will make me want to cry. Pretty sensitive that day, 亲情这种东西我真的没辙。Went 四马路 temple to pray, had zi char opposite ssc. The rice monsters ate 2 bowls of rice each, eat until damn full, 肚子又大又肥。

Stuck in jam for about 45 minutes before meeting bel and off we go to botanic garden again. Sat at our usual place, the shaw foundation symphony stage, they had band performance that day. Bought light snacks and tidbits, listened to free music, people-watched, do some catching up. There's a handsome angmoh guy there but I'm not really interested, there must be something wrong with me. Never even noticed him in the first place until min mentioned it, she had a perfect view haha. Weather was good, quite warm but slowly cooled down. We were lost many times on our way to prive at keppel bay, kept going the longer way. Met many kind drivers who didn't even honked at us when we made some mistakes. Kept u-turning and reversing, it's a test of min's driving skills. It's really lucky that we managed to survive all that haha. She wanted to catch the sunset but when we reached there, it's already dark haha. Dinner wasn't to my liking, quite disappointed.

Met hy at bugis for some shopping before having steamboat plus bbq with the Teo's and my siblings' other halves. Finally they get to see my bro's gf. I love steamboat as long as you give me my tomyam soup base. Rather impromptu decision since my bro said we haven't meet up for quite some time and he don't need book in on sun. Although there's no aircon but I don't mind, 吃火锅就是要流汗的。We had to scoop the butter out 因为那个油喷到我的脚和椅子都有 :( Another impromptu decision to go teo heng at dhoby ghaut from 9pm-11pm just because we felt like singing, sis and qh never go though.

Food for thought: when someone lies to you, it's because they don't respect you enough to be honest and they think that you're too stupid to know the difference. Nobody likes to be treated like a fool. Why will you want someone like that in your life? Someone who keeps lying to you. You won't even know what's the truth anymore. Will people actually stop lying when they finally lose someone? Giving people a second chance may mean that you're just giving them another chance to lie to you again. Second chances are hard to come by especially if you're dealing with someone with a rigid thinking like me. If I do that despite knowing that you're lying, I guess it means that you're really important to me. It could also be that I'm just plain stupid. Even if you become the type of person I hate the most in this world, I don't care as long as you're honest with me. I'm willing to let it go if it's all in the past/if there's really nothing going on now, all I ask for is honesty. Is it that difficult/ too much to ask for? Don't disappoint the second time.

别人得到温柔的呵护，你却只有被骂的份。一点都不公平，好像你永远都只会惹别人生气一样。一句责备的话心都碎了，用了我不喜欢的字。有时候会想对别人好有什么用。不管多么不开心，只要他不开心难过的时候，你就只在乎他的感受，你的感受啊什么的都无所谓了。面对有些人我真的没辙。

Gatherings

Teoheng at rendezvous hotel with yx, don't even know that there's an outlet there. This shows that I haven't gone singing or been in town for quite some time. Got a medium room due to unavailability of the small room, but there isn't much difference. Singing really does help in venting out any bottled up emotions. Realised that most songs in 热门点播 are sad and emo ones. 是不是因为抒情歌比较好发挥，所以大家就比较喜欢唱？We are no exception either. Dinner at mfm, it's a challenge to finish the small flame platter by myself, but I did it. Guess I was really hungry. It's also a challenge splitting cost with yx, she refused to let me pay my share for the singing session. Always have to show my stubborn side before she will relent, maybe she's just waiting for me to flare up haha. I'm thinking maybe one day I might because of 原则问题。

Dinner at saizeriya at the cathay with 6 out of ei8ht, gave them the shot glass souvenirs I bought from hk. Bought 1 for myself too cause I like the design, think that it's beautiful haha. Ordered main course plus soup and some finger food like chicken wings, omelette, escargots to share. We always ordered a lot of food, luckily we managed to finish them too. Simple dinner gathering, catching up with one another's lives, most of us are jobless :( Ended the night with evil twin sending the north people to amk before going home and she still reached home faster than me when I only have 4 more stations. Kamsahamnida!

It's gonna hurt because it matters, because some people matter. They will always matter to you, even if you don't matter to them. They always do. I guess some people just don't matter, no matter what. Some things once gone, are gone forever. It doesn't matter anymore, does it? Disappointment, feelings that could hurt.

Hongkong trip

Suaku rin is back from hongkong! Not much people know about it either cause I didn't say anything. 香港就是买东西吃东西买东西吃东西。

Day 1
First time taking airplane, almost died during takeoff and landing, hate that feeling. I can never take a roller coaster ride. Sat with 2 other strangers cause of some last minute changes to flight booking. At least they were friendly and did talk to me. Took airport express train to kowloon and changed to olympic MTR for lunch at tim ho wan (olympian city 2). Food wasn't that great, limited variety, not a must-have. Walked to our hotel, the hotel provides us with a smart handy phone which we can gain access to wifi by connecting through their hotspot. We can bring it with us anywhere and use it to call each other for free. Took cab to argyle centre (旺角中心) cause my ah ma's legs are hurting from walking around too much. Argyle centre is like bugis street, there are some cheap stuff and also higher-priced ones. Had vietnamese dinner- lemongrass chicken wing with cold vermicelli, need their chilli sauce to go with it if not the noodles won't be as nice. It'll just be tasteless but the chicken wing is good. Worth a try. Walked to ladies market (女人街) for more shopping, there isn't much things there, it's more like our pasar malam. Didn't buy anything the first day, couldn't find anything I like. Went back hotel and watched hk dramas/movies.

Day 2
The hotel staff are quite friendly, they will give us directions or guide us and tell us which place has nice food etc. Had wanton mee and dumpling mee for breakfast, their wanton mee has the usual noodles plus meepok. Hk food is cheap and they served huge portions. Took hotel shuttle bus to langham place h&m at mongkok. Finally bought something there, walked over to chan kee for goose rice. I didn't eat though cause I'm still quite full, only ordered iced lemon tea. I'm a fan of iced lemon tea, wherever I go I'll order it hehe. Walked to allied plaza (at prince edward), it's also another bugis street. Bought mcdonald's back to hotel for dinner, it's located just opposite our hotel. It tasted different but overall wasn't too bad. I love their thai chilli sauce.

Day 3
Went to 稻香 at mongkok for dimsum, their food is better than tim ho wan's. Took MTR to causeway bay, shopped at times square, walked over to jardine crescent/ jardine bazaar. Beside it is the large outlet of F21 with 4 levels, took me a while to browse through all the clothes haha. Took cab to hee kee to avoid the crowd, had seafood/crab for dinner. Bro found this while browsing through the smart handy phone under food recommendations section and suggested going there. Although it's rather expensive but the food is delicious. Since we have been eating cheaper food these few days and with 6 people sharing the cost, I think it's all right to indulge in expensive food once in a while.

Day 4
Woke up late and had lunch at cafe de coral (大家乐). Bought 老婆饼 at 恒香饼家, the streets are buzzing with people even with the heavy rain. Went to avenue of stars (星光大道 at tsim sha tsui) with bro and his gf. Not that I want to be a lightbulb but I just want to take a break from all that shopping, thought it'd be a nice change to view scenery. I didn't regret it, just that it's very warm and sunny. Saw some of the celebrities/ famous people handprints and signatures on the ground. Steamboat dinner at 稻香, it's quite expensive but at least the food is nice.

Day 5
Last day in hk, tried cafe de coral breakfast, 喜欢这类型的早餐。Checked out, had ramen for lunch at airport. It isn't jap style ramen, it's more like the 黄面 we have here, the soup taste like fishball noodles soup. Finally can sit with sis in airplane, she told me to crouch lower if I'm scared and kept talking to me to distract me. Sometimes I think that she behaves more like an elder sister, she's always the one taking care of me. Should go sightseeing next time, without the adults.

说谎

人为什么要说谎？谎言被拆穿后，还有谁会选择相信或原谅？从撒谎的那一刻起，你还能相信吗？如果一个人问你问题，你最好告诉他实话。他会问你就表示他可能已经知道答案了。如果是我，会给你机会解释说真话。如果最终还是要隐瞒，不要怪我不相信也请滚出我的生命。原谅一个人也要看是什么错误，值不值得被原谅。看的事情越多，越不敢去相信。有时候让你学会不去轻易相信别人的反而是你最信任的人，很矛盾对吧？

无关紧要，与我无关，撇开这些不谈。请祝我好运，考试顺利。我快累垮了，总觉得时间不够。进度很慢，老记不住。