Catching up

Grandfather passed away, attended his wake for 3 days. I thought I wouldn't shed a single tear since I'm not close to him. However, on the last day, I cried uncontrollably, without stopping. Couldn't control it and I don't know why either, 还越哭越惨。When I'm crying, please don't talk to me, it will make me cry even more as I attempt to speak. Don't even ask me what I'm doing when I'm sad, it will make me want to cry. Pretty sensitive that day, 亲情这种东西我真的没辙。Went 四马路 temple to pray, had zi char opposite ssc. The rice monsters ate 2 bowls of rice each, eat until damn full, 肚子又大又肥。

Stuck in jam for about 45 minutes before meeting bel and off we go to botanic garden again. Sat at our usual place, the shaw foundation symphony stage, they had band performance that day. Bought light snacks and tidbits, listened to free music, people-watched, do some catching up. There's a handsome angmoh guy there but I'm not really interested, there must be something wrong with me. Never even noticed him in the first place until min mentioned it, she had a perfect view haha. Weather was good, quite warm but slowly cooled down. We were lost many times on our way to prive at keppel bay, kept going the longer way. Met many kind drivers who didn't even honked at us when we made some mistakes. Kept u-turning and reversing, it's a test of min's driving skills. It's really lucky that we managed to survive all that haha. She wanted to catch the sunset but when we reached there, it's already dark haha. Dinner wasn't to my liking, quite disappointed.

Met hy at bugis for some shopping before having steamboat plus bbq with the Teo's and my siblings' other halves. Finally they get to see my bro's gf. I love steamboat as long as you give me my tomyam soup base. Rather impromptu decision since my bro said we haven't meet up for quite some time and he don't need book in on sun. Although there's no aircon but I don't mind, 吃火锅就是要流汗的。We had to scoop the butter out 因为那个油喷到我的脚和椅子都有 :( Another impromptu decision to go teo heng at dhoby ghaut from 9pm-11pm just because we felt like singing, sis and qh never go though.

Food for thought: when someone lies to you, it's because they don't respect you enough to be honest and they think that you're too stupid to know the difference. Nobody likes to be treated like a fool. Why will you want someone like that in your life? Someone who keeps lying to you. You won't even know what's the truth anymore. Will people actually stop lying when they finally lose someone? Giving people a second chance may mean that you're just giving them another chance to lie to you again. Second chances are hard to come by especially if you're dealing with someone with a rigid thinking like me. If I do that despite knowing that you're lying, I guess it means that you're really important to me. It could also be that I'm just plain stupid. Even if you become the type of person I hate the most in this world, I don't care as long as you're honest with me. I'm willing to let it go if it's all in the past/if there's really nothing going on now, all I ask for is honesty. Is it that difficult/ too much to ask for? Don't disappoint the second time.

别人得到温柔的呵护，你却只有被骂的份。一点都不公平，好像你永远都只会惹别人生气一样。一句责备的话心都碎了，用了我不喜欢的字。有时候会想对别人好有什么用。不管多么不开心，只要他不开心难过的时候，你就只在乎他的感受，你的感受啊什么的都无所谓了。面对有些人我真的没辙。