Most of my friends think that I'm easily bullied by others and sometimes I'm too helpful. To me, I don't mind helping my friends as long as it benefits them. I know how it feels like to be helpless and how you feel when someone lends a helping hand. I give not because I've many, but because I know how it feels to have nothing:) As long as you are my friend, I'll offer help whenever you need it. Because of this reason, one of my friend doesn't want to befriend me. Doesn't want me to keep helping, don't even talk to me anymore. I just want to help, is it wrong? I know sometimes I may go a little overboard cause I'll go all out to help them as long as it's within my ability. I'm not complaining about that person or whatever but it's just something which I don't understand. Of course to add on to this problem, there's some rumors which totally made the whole things worse. Things have turned out for the better but I wished that it didn't even happened. If I can choose again, you know what will I do? I'll continue to help that friend no matter what. Friends are important to me and I like to help others, why restrict me from doing that?Doesn't it feel good to be offered help?
Another problem:I admit I don't know how to take care of myself, am learning but it isn't that easy. Can I don't learn?There are others who will take care of me, like my friends, my family:) Why must I learn how to take care of myself? Need to thank my friends for taking care of me haha. Appreciate it:) Even though I may be older than some of my friends but sometimes I feel like they act more like an elder sis to me than I do to them, it's not good in a sense. But I like to be taken care of, feels good to know that someone actually cares for you and is being nice to you:)
I love the feeling when you are being understood by someone. When you don't have to say a word but that person will know what you are thinking and able to say out the exact same words/thoughts you are thinking:) Love it when someone can know how you are feeling just by looking at your facial expressions:D Like to be understood, don't like to be maligned, no one will like to be maligned right?If I'm being maligned, I'll usually just admit it, don't want to waste my efforts explaining because it's either you understand me or you don't. Very simple right?haha, but will be sad if it's someone I thought will understand me/won't even thought that I'll be maligned by this friend, but still... sometimes it may happen.
I think that my temper is getting from bad to worse, very petty, how to change huh?everytime angry over small little things, can't stand it. because of my temper, I've caused lots of problems for my friends, sorry. I must learn to control my temper, seriously I feel that I'm a bad person. Didnt really think for others and think in their perspective, everytime care for myself only. Why? When will I learn to grow up? I should stop thinking so much rubbish, make my brain stop thinking all those nonsense and start thinking of serious stuff like studying. But I'm lazy:( I know I still got to study in the end, hope I can pass! Too stressed, really scared, I can't understand alot of things even if I study alot. How? Got to start solving all these problems one by one.
But first is my temper. Get me into trouble everytime:(I don't know how things will go from here, but... I have only myself to blame. serve me right, who ask me to be so petty. If this way is better, then I can only accept. I hate myself!!!
Sorry....maybe things will change from now on... I really don't know...
Love this song and the lyrics especially the chorus part:)
蝴蝶眨几次眼睛 才学会飞行
夜空洒满了星星 但几颗会落地
我飞行 当你坠落之际 很靠近 还听见呼吸
对不起 我却没捉紧你
你不知道我为什么离开你 我坚持不能说放任你哭泣
你的泪滴像倾盆大雨 碎落满地 在心里清晰
你不知道我为什么狠下心 盘旋在你看不见的高空里
多的是 你不知道的事
我飞行 当你坠落之际
你不知道我为什么离开你 我坚持不能说放任你哭泣
你的泪滴像倾盆大雨 碎落满地 在心里清晰
你不知道我为什么狠下心 盘旋在你看不见的高空里
多的是 你不知道的事
The things you never knew, if I don't tell, you will never know. There may be some things which I did for you, but if I don't let you know, you will never know that it happened. You may have done everything for this person, but he/she may not know and will never know unless you say it out. This lyrics is nice:) but damn sad too:(you don't know why I had to leave you, you don't know why I can be so cruel to keep away from you, but some things can't be helped can it? There must be a reason for staying away, maybe due to some reasons which you can't tell or maybe this reason is hurting you too much. You need to stay away to prevent getting hurt any further. Or you may just be staying away to let the other party be happy, stop being by his/her side pestering them when you know they are unhappy about you being too close. I'm thinking too much into these lyrics haha, anyway it's just a song but I just love to decipher the meaning in lyrics:)
Here are some pictures we took last sunday:)
