Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Stressed!

Quite stressed from studying, haven't receive UOL examination notice yet, is this normal? Always feeling moody, unhappy :( Afraid of failure but it doesn't seem like I'm in the best condition to pass after viewing some past year questions. Work harder, easy to say but my brain needs to cooperate too. Really don't like to study, always feeling tired at 12am, wanting to sleep and my brain will feel like hibernating. Keep forcing myself to study :( I miss my human resource modules, at least that's easier to study and I'm more interested in it. 会读书的人永远都不会明白那些不会读书的人的痛苦。还好林俊杰明白,简直就是说出了我的心声!

I know this is random but one thing bad about me: I get jealous easily. 吃醋的时候不会骂人,会冷嘲热讽,说话会酸溜溜的,会把你推开,会不理你,会不想跟你说话。虽然容易吃醋,很小气,但也很容易哄。因为没安全感,所以才会这样吧。

如果。。。可以。。。,我一定会很开心!以前可以,现在不行。没勇气问,如果不同意,我又要难过了 :( 可是偏偏我又想去争取,争取到同意为止,但我也怕会惹怒你,所以一直不敢问。我很怕凶的人,也怕你不理我。

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Exams

Exams schedule:

  • 3 May: Information Systems & Organisation (10am-1pm) & Introduction to Economics (2.30pm-5.30pm)
  • 9 May: Principles of Sociology (2.30pm-5.30pm)
  • 10 May: Financial Management (10am-1pm)
  • 14 May: Management Science Methods (10am-1pm)
Wish me luck on 3 May, how am I going to do well? Not sure if I can handle both papers on the same day but I'll try. It's times like this when I wish that I've photographic memory or have an IQ of 200. Give me 江直树 now!!! I need him to help me highlight the important points and I'll just study that and easily score an A. Pray hard that I'll pass everything this time!!! Okay, back to my mugging! Miss those times when we used to study together. You would teach me stuff that I don't know, even though you may be a little impatient at times:) But still, I appreciate your help:) It's nice having you around, thank you:) 好想见你,好想念你 :((

Sunday, April 8, 2012

没反应

告诉你是想看你会有什么反应,你还是没反应。知道你住得远所以不会这么想,可是如果有心的话会嫌远吗?本来没想过这件事,你为什么要自投罗网呢?谁在乎他是不是来找我,我一点都不在乎。可以确定的是,不是每个人都有其他目的的,我接受他的解释。差一点就错怪他了,还好最后决定解开这误会。还好他没有利用我,这点很重要 :)

难过是因为就算他是来找我的,你也不在乎。你一点也不紧张因为根本不会影响到你。又是我在打扰了,放心,以后不会了,以后什么都不告诉你了。是我想太多了,以为你会在乎。不对,不是以为而是希望你会在乎,反正以后不会这么无聊拿这种事去烦你了。我的事与你无关,你的事也跟我没关系。

我也只是想被某人在乎,希望某人会在乎我罢了。。。我不会再像以前那样那么在乎你了,不会去烦你,打扰你,希望你过得开心。没有我烦你,你当然会比较开心,反正你也不在乎我对你好不好。希望我办得到,发泄完了,舒服多了!:)

Friday, April 6, 2012

Bored

Long time since I went bowling, skills were a bit rusty. My dad's bowling skills was far better than mine, if I tell others my dad's pretty good in it, I'll be laughed at. Can't imagine his daughter being so lousy, a disgrace to him. But it's just for fun, so it doesn't matter! The ball is still so heavy and I haven't change my unique style of bowling, throw the ball and hear it go 'boom' on the ground. Don't have enough strength, used a size 8 ball, I'd very much prefer a size 7. Pool after that and I won for the first time, nothing to be proud of cause I think Meiqi let me win on purpose. But I'm still happy that I won! For the first time! :)

At music dreamer cafe yesterday, I was a little bored. Felt awkward, maybe cause I wasn't close to them. They are nice people but I felt like we were two different groups of people sitting at the same table. It's that bad cause I've nothing much to say to them and can't really join in their conversation. To make things worse, I was rather quiet the whole night, just listening to songs, never really talk much. To make it seem less awkward, I was either talking to Meiqi or using my phone. But I still like the songs sung that night :)

Had Mac breakfast just now, I love Mac breakfast! Simple things like this is enough to make me happy:)

以前不管再闷都觉得无所谓,至少能见到你,现在却不这么想了。还是想见你,但不想让自己觉得闷。我想我真的闷坏了,闷了太久了。很矛盾,每次败在这里,如果我出现的话,代表很想见到你。担心某人,不能买凉茶给你了,希望你赶快康复!一定很辛苦吧?题外话:再也不能跟你出去了,有点难过,但是你肯原谅我就好。是我太贪心了,太过分了。

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

对不起

不是想威胁你,你觉得我有办法威胁到你吗?这么凶干嘛:( 也许用错方法了,或者没解释所以你不懂,但绝对不是在威胁你。你又不是不知道我很顽固又很霸道,经常耍任性闹脾气。只是在闹脾气而已,虽然长达比较久的时间,但有没有必要这么凶啊?:( 我的解释,你应该也听不进,对不起。闹翻了,我也别想去了,免得见面尴尬,除非你不生气。还是希望你玩得开心一点,毕竟是你的欢送会啊。希望你不要生我的气,我就是这么顽固,不是每个人都承受得起的,因为我不是普通的顽固。对不起啦,下次会尽量收敛一下的。

Monday, April 2, 2012

只不过是想跟你出去而已,让我一下也不行,只要让我就没事了。我知道我有错,是狠心了一点,但我的脾气就是这么倔强。对你这么坏,你都没发脾气,因为我一点都不重要,对你来说只是多一个人或少一个人的差别。

我明明就很想去,却说了反话。已经不是第一次了,我经常这样,反正说真心话也没用,反正以后你也不会找我了:( 木讷。最近真的对你很不好,你一定觉得我很坏,对吧?

Sunday, April 1, 2012

重点

重点不是我会不会乱想,而是你想不想跟我出去,想不想见到我,喜不喜欢跟我出去/相处,跟我相处的时候开心吗?我想跟你出去,想见到你,喜欢跟你出去,跟你相处的时候我很开心。不能见到我对你来说不算什么,但是不能见到你对我来说却是件非常痛苦的事。因为太想见你,我甚至有打算不要乱想,可是又怕自己办不到。不确定会不会乱想,唯一确定的是想跟你出去。我想,欢送会我是去不成了,彼此见面的机会也会大大减少。

看到你写的东西,又开始担心你了。因为会担心,所以希望你好好照顾自己。我却只能担心,除了担心什么都不能做,也不能去照顾你。

难过

或许,以后再也没办法这么经常的见到我最想见的人了:( 好难过:(( 好想他 :(( 我选择诚实,但诚实也有诚实必须付出的代价。