Exams are coming but I'm still not revising, just can't find the motivation to do so. Even if I study, there's no guarantee that I will do well, going to reach stress level soon. Afraid that I will break down, seems rather scared of getting a fail but I don't know how to make myself understand all those concepts! I need someone to explain to me, I can't do it by myself, reason being that I'm plain stupid. I know I'm stupid, but can you don't keep pointing that fact out to me? I'm emotionally strong but it doesn't mean that I won't feel hurt or sad. All I want are words of encouragement but I didn't get it. All I got was I shouldn't be in UOL as I won't be able to meet their requirements. I know this too, but I'll just take this as a challenge:) Just try my best, even if I fail, at least I tried didn't I? Somehow, I just hope for one word of encouragement, one word will do, please. It will really help me a lot, please try. I know it's tough to get results in UOL, there's not much memorising to be done, only got to understand and apply those concepts but I just can't do it, I don't know why.
How I wish that I'm as clever as my sister, she doesnt need to put in as much effort as me to study. She can easily understand the concepts very quickly, faster than me, really envy her, don't really need to get stressed out by getting bad grades. All she needs to worry about is not getting an A while I'm afraid of not getting a pass, what a joke! That's the difference between me and her:( Sad but it's true, I can't get the results I want or anything else that I want. All I have is myself, I'm alone, I'm a loner, I always keep to myself, I don't usually say out my problems to others even though they want to share my burden but that's me, always so quiet. I don't feel like talking sometimes when I'm really troubled or any other times when I'm not troubled also, just don't ask me to talk if I don't want to. I really don't have anything to say, don't force me all right? I will talk if I want:)
Ok, got to start calming myself down now... got to make myself happy:) That's how pathetic I am, got to cheer myself up... I really wish for someone to be by my side to cheer me up, console me, encourage me, just talk to me whenever I feel like talking (that doesn't happen to alot of people, believe it or not, I choose my friends and select who to talk to). I don't know why also but whenever I see new people, I can tell straight away if I can be comfortable being with them. That's why I tend to be closer to those whom I think I can feel comfortable with:) I don't know how this thing inside my brain/heart works, I don't even know how I know these things...
Some people will find me real quiet or real talkative, I'm that extreme. I can only say a few sentences to some but can also talk endlessly to some, so some people will have different descriptions of me. That's why some of my friends' description of me will be different :D I would like to hear all of your descriptions of me:) I remember someone once said I'm those kind who will go all out for friends (agree to some extent haha), I still remember who said this,I don't know if that person still remember? Don't think so cause that person has a really poor memory haha, but those words really make me real happy, thanks a lot!:) You are the only one who said that to me (not directly of course haha, but I saw what you wrote). Thanks:)
It's little things like this which makes me real touched:) I get touched easily, especially if you do some things nice to me like giving me sweets or chocolates or remembering details about me like my birthday, my likes and dislikes etc etc:) You know who you are:))) I think most of you fit this category:)
My brother just told me: don't feel stressed cause I am my own fireworks, I will shine in my own way (or something like that, I can't remember), he said this cause he saw me typing this entry:) Touched:))))
How I wish that I'm as clever as my sister, she doesnt need to put in as much effort as me to study. She can easily understand the concepts very quickly, faster than me, really envy her, don't really need to get stressed out by getting bad grades. All she needs to worry about is not getting an A while I'm afraid of not getting a pass, what a joke! That's the difference between me and her:( Sad but it's true, I can't get the results I want or anything else that I want. All I have is myself, I'm alone, I'm a loner, I always keep to myself, I don't usually say out my problems to others even though they want to share my burden but that's me, always so quiet. I don't feel like talking sometimes when I'm really troubled or any other times when I'm not troubled also, just don't ask me to talk if I don't want to. I really don't have anything to say, don't force me all right? I will talk if I want:)
Ok, got to start calming myself down now... got to make myself happy:) That's how pathetic I am, got to cheer myself up... I really wish for someone to be by my side to cheer me up, console me, encourage me, just talk to me whenever I feel like talking (that doesn't happen to alot of people, believe it or not, I choose my friends and select who to talk to). I don't know why also but whenever I see new people, I can tell straight away if I can be comfortable being with them. That's why I tend to be closer to those whom I think I can feel comfortable with:) I don't know how this thing inside my brain/heart works, I don't even know how I know these things...
Some people will find me real quiet or real talkative, I'm that extreme. I can only say a few sentences to some but can also talk endlessly to some, so some people will have different descriptions of me. That's why some of my friends' description of me will be different :D I would like to hear all of your descriptions of me:) I remember someone once said I'm those kind who will go all out for friends (agree to some extent haha), I still remember who said this,I don't know if that person still remember? Don't think so cause that person has a really poor memory haha, but those words really make me real happy, thanks a lot!:) You are the only one who said that to me (not directly of course haha, but I saw what you wrote). Thanks:)
It's little things like this which makes me real touched:) I get touched easily, especially if you do some things nice to me like giving me sweets or chocolates or remembering details about me like my birthday, my likes and dislikes etc etc:) You know who you are:))) I think most of you fit this category:)
My brother just told me: don't feel stressed cause I am my own fireworks, I will shine in my own way (or something like that, I can't remember), he said this cause he saw me typing this entry:) Touched:))))
steamboat at yl's house:))
lays, the birthday girl:))
our Christmas presents!!!
my present for yl
nat's present for me!
presents jy bought for us on her trip to taiwan, I love my 'diao':)
toasting to our years of friendship!haha, it's really wine:)
carrie's DSLR self-timer shots are too fast for us! jy's one was slower but perfect for us cause we are slow haha
yl's LATE birthday presents
lays & mag's birthday presents(necklace), wait for the 2nd part to arrive:))
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