Birthday celebrations... and some trust issues

Went for sheena's birthday celebration at the hard rock cafe at rws last Saturday, I like the ambience there:) We were late as usual haha and she was asked to go on stage so that we can sing birthday song for her:) I really enjoyed myself that day and I think she enjoyed herself too:) She drank 2 cups (was it cup? I wasn't sure haha) of flaming lamborghini and we treated jy that too. Her face was damn red after she finished it but she's still very much awake and not drunk yet haha. I'm glad it wasn't me who had to drink that! It sure tasted awful based on her description!:(

Celebrated jy's birthday for her on 1 June, it's weird you know when actually her birthday is on 29 May and sheena's was on 2 June but we celebrated sheena's birthday on 28 May and jy's on 1 June!haha. Bought her 21 kuehs to substitute the cake! We planned a surprise with her uni mates by giving her band hero wii set without the instruments when she meet up with them. She knew it was expensive so maybe she thought that they couldn't afford to buy the whole set for her and she was supposed to buy the instruments to complete the set herself. But she didn't know that ei8ht had already paid for the instruments and we gave it to her a few days later! I think she really like her present!:) Surprise well-planned! Mass-chat with Maggie and it was an awesome night spent with them:) People must be thinking that we are crazy to feed the phone with ice-cream cause Maggie wanted to eat it!haha, it was damn funny! Poor jy got to carry the heavy present home!:(

Trust issues... I had an eventful week at work and I did something real stupid which could have cost me someone important. I almost lost that person, but I'm glad everything is back to normal again. I'm too trusting towards people and I'm really confused now. I don't even know who to trust anymore! My whole impression of the people around me has gone haywire and nothing seems like what I thought it was initially. Got to really open my eyes wide and see carefully before I get targeted by others. Do I have to stoop to their level to prevent getting hurt? I hope not cause I don't ever want to be like those people that I hate. I don't wish to guard myself against anyone, it becomes tiring for me:( Why do people have to be so complicated? Do they do it to protect themselves or what? I'll never understand what they are thinking and I don't wish to know. I just hope no one targets me:( But aren't colleagues supposed to be helping one another? If you get someone into trouble, won't that person hate you and try to take revenge too? And when will this revenge thing ever end? Does hurting people bring so much pleasure to you? What if you are the one getting hurt? Why don't people spare a thought for one another's feelings anymore? Is that really the way to survive?

in the process of making flaming lamborghini!

ending the post with my 'black-faced' pictures, people seriously owe me alot of money haha! ei8ht should stop saying I'm cute when young, next time let's compare the rest!:)

Give me a break!

Celebrated hy's birthday at seoul garden on Sunday, the next day was another round of sushi buffet with ei8ht plus our k session! It's been a long time since we went singing together, almost 2 years? That's freaking long! Couldn't finish the song list, we had almost 40 or 50 pages! Just picked those that we know how to sing and most of them are older ones!haha. This Saturday is another round of buffet for Sheena's birthday, no more buffet after that!

Back to work... I just want to say I don't conform, and I'm very very stubborn, I'll stick to this thing that I want. If you give it to me, good for you, if you don't, I'm going to make sure I get my way, even if in the process I pissed you off or what. I'm going to get the things that I want. I don't care if I'm deemed as a loner or anti-social or weird or whatever names you want to give me, I would rather be alone than be pretentious everyday trying to be friends with those I'm uncomfortable with. I know you care, but please respect my decision, I know what's best for me:) I don't want to fake my smiles and laughter, it's enough of pretending for me, I don't want to pretend anymore, please give me what I want.

I know you will give in to me eventually cause that's how nice you are to me. I'm sorry if I didn't appreciate your kind intentions, I know you care, but I want it that way, I'll bear the consequences. Nevertheless, thank you for the care and concern:) I'm sorry if I ever made you be frustrated with me, sorry!

Beastly

Had aston's (finally!!! my all-time favourite!haha) for dinner. Caught the movie 'Beastly' with min, bel & liz yesterday night, was rather looking forward to this movie cause the storyline was like a real-life version of 'Beauty & the Beast'. I somehow feel that the romance part wasn't enough though, I can't feel the romance thing, I don't feel a single thing at all, which makes this movie a failure I guess? But nevertheless, it's because I expected too much, if you are really bored and there isn't any movies for you to watch and you really want to watch a movie, go and watch this then.

We went to lido to watch it and halfway through, I think the film has some technical errors and the lights went on and the screen blacked out for a few seconds. Luckily everything was back to normal again after a few seconds, I still prefer cathay but since we couldn't get any timings for this movie at cathay, we had no choice but to settle for shaw at lido.

This sets me thinking: everyone in this world is gonna care about looks right? No one is going to look beyond the exterior and see how beautiful you are on the inside right? If someone as hideous as a beast appeared in front of you, you would have feel disgusted with this person and quickly walk away rather than being friends with him/her right? People care about appearance, that's just a fact I got to accept. I care about appearance too, even though I stressed alot on the interior but I still care about how others look at me. If only people don't care so much about appearance, then there won't be any competition among people to fight for "who's the most good-looking person, who is dressed as the best/ most outstanding in terms of appearance". That's reality for me, if only I can not care about others' opinions and just be myself, easier said than done!

Our personality is often shaped based on the expectations of others. Agree to some extent, either you choose to conform to their expectations or you choose to be different, to be yourself regardless of what they say:)

Enjoying my holidays:)

I was out with hy to perm her hair and my cousin, sister & I waited for her for about 3 hours before she's done. Finally went shopping at bugis!haha, I want to go far east next, these are my 2 favourite places to shop:)

Went to botanic garden with liz & min on Saturday, had our picnic, went shopping at bugis, wisma, 313, plaza sing before finally settling at 'strictly pancakes' for our dinner! I was dead tired after that day especially after using liz's semi-pro camera to take self-shots of ourselves! Her camera is very very heavy, but luckily because of our good chemistry, we managed to coordinate well and take nice pictures!:)

Have been catching up on 'The Vampire Diaries Season 2', going to finish it in about 2 more days? After that, I hope I have the time to read my novels and then it will be the start of work for me. I don't know if I'm courting death by going back, but let's just wait & see what happens:) I'll just deal with whatever comes my way, good or bad. My body clock is screwed, I have been sleeping at 12 and waking up at 8! I can't force myself to sleep, I'll just automatically wake up so early! sigh, never mind, it's better this way so I won't oversleep for work.

It's the holidays!

Shall not comment too much on exams since it's already over but I can't help worrying about it. Suddenly thought of this quotation " I can't help doing this cause I feel this way" (taken from sociology text) haha. But anyway, adrian tang is damn good in spotting questions. He gave us 2 essay questions and both came out for the main exams but I still don't know how to do cause I never read his answers haha. Didn't complete all the papers, not even Maths but I hope I can pass. Meanwhile, it's time for some enjoyment before results are released and I'll worry for 1 whole week before the release of results. I hope I pass! *prays hard* How I wish there's moderation! Keep thinking how come others can do it but I can't? Maybe I didn't put in enough effort :( sad to say, but I think that's true.

Alright, next up is to start reading my novels! haha, it has been a long time since I've touched a novel! Then I'll start meeting up with ei8ht, min, bel, liz & DBA01 people! I want to go out and play!haha. I want to eat buffet, sing, watch movies, etc etc. I want to watch my Harry Potter movie too! But it's the last one already, kinda sad though, no more Harry Potter's movies to look forward to anymore:( Shall enjoy life to the max before work/school starts!

Those who have not finished their exams, jiayou! Just endure for a few more weeks and everything will be over!:) It's tough but you still got to go through this and the results will be sweet enough:) Jiayou! I have to say goodbye to sleepless nights and guilt for sleeping too much, goodbye nightmares! :))

Bad mood...

In a bad mood recently due to exam stress:( Difficult to feel happy, I wish I can be happy too:( Just let me complain here since I don't want to burden anyone with my troubles...Been having nightmares lately (due to the stress? I don't know), but I hope they will go away soon, I haven't been sleeping well lately :(

Attended all UK lectures already, I'm worried for all my modules. Got back my prelim papers and the results are sucky, I failed all including Maths. I'm left with 3 local lectures, about 2-3 more weeks and it's exam period. I don't have enough time already :( How?! Starting to panic now :(

心情真的很不好 :( I don't feel like blogging anymore :(

Quick updates

I've been going for revision lectures recently, it has been useful for some of them. I love Steve Taylor's lecture the most, he makes the lecture damn interesting haha. I like his teaching style, I wish that the lecturers in SIM will be like him. So far I like my local lecturers too, but Steve Taylor is the best lecturer I've seen so far (in my opinion). My Maths1 lecturer has been changed to Philip Stephenson, he's too good, gave us lots of methods to solve a question but it won't help much since he only taught us once. I'm going to try my best for Maths though:) I think my local lecturer for POA is better than the UK one, Adrian Tang is also not bad, at least he won't force us to answer questions in sociology class (Rosemary wants us to think so she expects an answer everytime). I haven't attended econs revision lecture yet, heard that the lecturer is famous for directing questions at people and will wait till you give him an answer, that's kind of scary and it gives me lots of pressure:( I'm glad that I've a good econs lecturer, she makes me understand econs even though it's difficult, lucky to have her if not I'll be irritated with a lousy lecturer. Have not attended Maths1 revision lecture too, hope it will be useful:)

Meanwhile, it will be mugging period for me, hopefully I'll be able to complete everything before the final exams:) I always thought that exams is not about luck, it's about whether you know your stuff or not. My poly classmates always asked me how come I'm so calm and don't need to study before going into the exam hall? My answer is always: 你会就是会，不会就是不会。True? Even if you studied now, when the questions really come out, you still won't get the right answer cause you don't really understand the concepts.

I feel like going to Jolin's and Show's concert in May:( I want to watch them dance, but I won't be able to see anything if I'm located too far away:( Better to buy their concert DVDs? But then it seems pointless to me since I'm not their supporter. Reminds me of something, I still didn't get to see the live version of Jolin & Jay's "双J舞", sad:( And I came across this picture which states that Jay is a Louis Koo look-alike? At first glance I was mistaken too but after a second glance, I finally realised that it's Jay haha. I shouldn't have been mistaken in the first place!